Fic: Quintessential
May. 23rd, 2012 07:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
anarion![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif){kind=small}
arianedevere, atlinmerrick, anarion, mirith, and verityburns, together for the first time at Verity’s house with the added bonus of Stacey Albright who doesn’t write fic but bloomin’ well should do. Amidst the hilarity and laughter, the burping competitions and the foosball tournaments, fic happened (and Stacey wrote a general comment which we promptly hijacked to use as the intro because damn, that woman should start writing fic). And the rest of us just might have covertly referenced each others’ fic during each snippet.Introduction, by Stacey Albright
Due to timing and fate I have missed out on some of the greatest events in history. The hot pants and Stiletto party of Sodom and Gomorrah that drew the attention of a rather conventional sandal-wearing God, The Giant Erection of the Pyramids, The Van Buren Supernova.......
However, I managed to secure a front seat ticket to the event of the Century, thank you very much Mr Time, Mrs Fate and Mr Verity.
In ‘Verity Central’ a Pandora’s box of porn was unleashed. The pagan gods left first - they had a train to catch, or so they said - followed swiftly by the Titans coughing and spluttering their excuses, the Greek gods were curious, the Norse gods furious but actually just over-excited, the Roman gods quite frankly couldn’t get enough. The five Behemoths of fan fiction who sat before me typing swifter than Mercury with his winged feet, joined in an unparalleled, joyous outpouring of synchronised porn.
“It should be an Olympic event,” noted one particular Greek God, after her tenth re-read.
Quintessential
“I don’t know why we needed to come this way,” Sherlock complained. “If we have to go on holiday, why can’t we go straight there?”
“Half the fun of a holiday is getting there,” John told him as Sherlock sawed impatiently on the steering wheel. “Why go direct down the main roads when you can take the road less travelled, enjoy the scenery and get to know the area?”
He put a hand onto Sherlock’s thigh and turned his best appealing expression towards him.
“Work with me here, love,” he asked. “We both need a change of scenery, and this is a gorgeous location and a luxurious hotel.” He tried to look stern. “And you’re going to enjoy it if it’s the last thing I do.”
Sherlock huffed irritably, but then made a conscious effort to relax. John had been wonderfully supportive while Sherlock had been engrossed in his recent case. The investigation had taken much longer than Sherlock had anticipated and he had barely eaten or slept for five days, lapsing into increasingly long silences, becoming more irritable as the vital clues eluded him, and venting his growing anger on everyone around him - especially John. When he had finally solved the case, he had effectively collapsed and slept non-stop for two days. Through all this, John had been the epitome of patience, though his frustration at the lack of sex had become more obvious as the days passed. He deserved this holiday.
Deliberately Sherlock slowed down, allowing John more time to watch the passing scenery through the windows.
When they finally arrived at the hotel, John went into the foyer while Sherlock parked the car. John took one look at the board listing events taking place that weekend, and his jaw dropped.
“I do not bloody believe it.”
~~~~~~~~~~
"It's for science."
John, who was on his second glass of complimentary wine and fifth complimentary chocolate, clambered onto the bed, straddled his sweetheart, and wiggled meaningfully.
Sherlock, who'd already deduced the history of the hotel, its manager, and the mattress (conclusions: not good) looked up at his lover and again poked index-thumb-index fingers into John's belly.
"You can control, alt, delete me all you want sweetheart, but I'm not going to 'reboot into silent mode.'"
Sherlock poked again. "Hope springs eternal."
John humped his lover's clothed hips enthusiastically. "Come on, let's go for a record."
Sherlock wondered if John really thought he was that idiotic.
"I'm not that idiotic, John. I know you're trying to keep me in this plush room with the lure of your masculine wiles." Sherlock hooked a finger into John's collar. "It's not working."
John followed that insistent pull. He'd tried distracting his lover with a walk, talk of a London cold case, wine, and chocolates. "Hope springs eternal," he said softly at Sherlock's temple, humping more slowly but no less ardently. "Hmmm. It appears other things have sprung, too." At last the good doctor had found a suitable diversion.
Naked and nestled between pale thighs awhile later, John painted pretty hip bones and belly with wine-wet fingers.
Sherlock responded with a showy moan.
Encouraged, John expanded his canvas to include penis and added tongue to his tools.
Sherlock replied with a thrust and throaty grunt.
Melted chocolate soon become the pigment of choice, applied liberally and broadly.
Sherlock spread himself wide and groaned at volume.
By the time John set to sucking in earnest Sherlock was thrashing. By the time the good detective came he wailed so loudly he sounded as if he was being murdered.
How he missed that clue—John will later reflect—he'd never know.
~~~~~~
Since the thing with the chocolate worked so well yesterday, John got up the next morning, went down to the dining room, grabbed some pancakes and stuff to fill into it and went back up, where he sat down at the table and started filling the pancakes with banana slices, chocolate chips and chocolate sauce before he cut it into pieces.
Meanwhile Sherlock had joined him at the table - curious as always. John picked up the first piece with his fingers but instead of putting it into his mouth, he gazed at Sherlock and carefully angled his hand so that the sauce dribbled down on his fingers.
Without breaking eye contact, he slowly stuck out his tongue and licked the chocolate up before placing the pancake into his mouth.
Sherlock made a soft noise and then swallowed audibly.
John picked up the next piece. Sherlock hummed while he watched the sauce trickle onto John's skin and then leaned over to start licking. His tongue seemed to be so much hotter than John's own had been and John answered with a hum that turned into a moan when Sherlock engulfed the fingers holding the pancake with an even hotter mouth.
Sherlock swallowed and leaned back with a grin.
John's hand was slightly shaking when he picked up the next piece because feeding Sherlock turned him on to a frightening degree.
This time Sherlock got up and knelt down in front of John, who needed to close his eyes for a moment when Sherlock not only plucked the piece from his fingers but gently started sucking on them. Sherlock's hands were gently stroking John's thighs, which made him moan again.
He opened his eyes and realised that the distraction was successful when Sherlock grabbed the bottle with chocolate sauce and headed for the bed.
~~~~~~
“All right, hurry up.”
“Really,” replies Sherlock. “I don’t see why we have to go at it guns blazing, so to speak.”
“It’s all the rage. People everywhere are having sex in exactly three hundred words.”
“Are we allowed to have all the words be ‘Guh’?”
“No.”
“Elementary,” says Sherlock, steepling his hands on his stomach. “Two hundred ninety-eight thrusts. We count them out loud. At the end, you say, ‘Oh God.’” He’s somewhat miffed that his impassioned grunts aren’t considered sufficiently wordlike to add to the total.
…
“Do you want to top?”
“Extremely unlikely.”
“Very good.” John squeezes out eight words worth of lube. This is one word for each of the centimetres he’s about to press into his flatmate with his stubby and anatomically disproportionate index finger.
“Exquisite,” remarks Sherlock, as John wriggles the digit somewhere out of sight.
“Ready?”
“Eternally.” Sherlock hasn’t deleted the unfortunate events of last Tuesday. He’s just choosing not to bring them up.
“’Til we stop, try to make the first letters spell something.”
Sherlock groans. “So much for counting.”
…
“All right, then?”
“Surely you consider me better than ‘all right.’ How would you describe me, John? Resourceful? Dynamic? Exhilarating?”
“Tight,” gasps his flatmate.
“Understandable,” concedes Sherlock, who up until this year had had a reputation as “Zero Continents” Holmes. Now he has a reputation as John’s Fourth Continent.
“Do you want me to slow down?”
“You wouldn’t dare.”
…
“Is there any chance you could stroke your own…”
“Not a chance.”
“Should I do it for you?”
“Hell yes,” said Sherlock, at a loss for any other two-word affirmative beginning with “H.”
“Extraordinary.”
“Right.”
“Like it?”
“Obvious.”
“Come, then.”
“…K!” As John and pleasure ride him, Sherlock attempts a four-letter word. Interjection? Imperative? Who knows. Only the final consonant remains.
Acrostic: Ariane DeVere’s “A Study In Sherlock", which is where John spends most of the fic.
~~~~~~
"I know what you're doing…"
John was not currently in a position to reply, but the expression he raised was amused.
"I don't mean now!" Sherlock attempted to roll eyes which were already rolling back in his head. It was not a successful effort.
"You've been using sex as a distraction…"
John continued to demonstrate that persistent lip-licking could develop an unusually agile tongue. Sherlock concentrated on finishing his sentence before it was blown away.
"…all weekend," he managed.
"Mmpfh."
"Not a complaint," Sherlock promised quickly. "Not a…" Too late.
"You saw the sign in the foyer?" John had pulled back.
Sherlock slid down the wall until he was sitting on the carpet. "A Murder Mystery weekend coinciding with our holiday? There were more signs than you could hide."
John huffed out an exasperated breath and sat back on his heels. "So all my efforts to distract you have been useless!"
"Far from it." Sherlock waggled his eyebrows and John gave him a 'you're not funny' look, which mellowed into a puzzled frown.
"OK, so I get why you didn't tell me," he acknowledged. "But the mystery thing doesn't finish 'til tonight - you could have got at least another blow job out of it. Why now?"
Sherlock shrugged. Even after a full year together, he still struggled to explain his feelings. Luckily, he seldom needed to. He saw the penny drop and John moved forward to straddle him.
"Whatever additional motivations I may have," he said gently, "I touch you because I can't bear not to."
Sherlock was clearly obliged to kiss him. Half an hour later, he raised his head from where it was hanging over the edge of the bed.
"How about I distract you for the rest of the day?"
John grinned. "This Sunday sounds perfect."
_____________________________________________________________
AN:
So there we were, all five of us together for the first time. Since we (or in the beginning at least some of us) already did a) write one 221B together and b) write a 221B each, trying to copy another's style, we needed to come up with a new plan. How about a story in which we all write a part while inserting one of the other's more famous story titles!
Apart from writing and drinking and generally talking porn, there was an insane amount of laughing (a lot of it thanks to Stacey, who is hilarious!), the realisation that I now appear unable to finish anything without ending with a b-word, for some obscure reason a lot talking about Romulans and toeing off (that seems to be a delicate way to say masturbate if I remember correctly) and ice-cream every evening!
Also, by the skin of my salmon, carrots were supposed to be in here, right? Bollocks!
My co-authors have also posted this story on their own blogs. There will be other insane and funny Author’s Notes, so do go visit them too. :)
Ariane’s
Atlin’s
Mirith’s
Verity’s
.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2012-05-23 07:30 pm (UTC)It's been an honour to work with you! Can't wait to see you again at the weekend!
Ari x
no subject
Date: 2012-05-25 08:54 am (UTC)But yay for me being disgusting and perverted! :D
See you tomorrow!
no subject
Date: 2012-05-23 08:09 pm (UTC)And there are no words to express my joy that you - after complaining bitterly that you absolutely definitely did not want us all writing a 221B because you were already writing one every damned day - ended on a B word. That made my week right there.
See you on Saturday!!!
no subject
Date: 2012-05-25 08:55 am (UTC)Well, that kinda was a given, right? ;)
See you TOMORROW!
Sherlockians Assemble!
Date: 2012-05-23 10:31 pm (UTC)“If we have to go on holiday, why can’t we go straight there?"
No, Ariane, there's no question of straight this time. :D
John had been the epitome of patience
Yep, that's just like John.
Sherlock wondered if John really thought he was that idiotic.
"I'm not that idiotic, John."
This device always makes me laugh.
Melted chocolate soon become the pigment of choice, applied liberally and broadly.
You see, Wendy, this is so much better than henna. :D
John got up the next morning, went down
HA HA HA HA HA. Sorry. It was childish.
This time Sherlock got up and knelt down in front of John
HA HA H... *clears her throat* I mean, well, it's logic.
*finishes reading Anarion's part*
Thank you, it was delicious. All these pancakes with banana slices, chocolate chips and chocolate sauce and licking and sucking... *feels hungry. For cakes and for Sherlock. And for John too, yes.*
People everywhere are having sex in exactly three hundred words.
Chocolate AND meta? This fic is unparalleled.
“Two hundred ninety-eight thrusts. We count them out loud. At the end, you say, ‘Oh God.’"
“’Til we stop, try to make the first letters spell something.”
So, this is the kind of game you play in Massachusetts? It's, er, interesting. And educational, without any doubt. (And amusing and sexy.)
“Understandable,” concedes Sherlock, who up until this year had had a reputation as “Zero Continents” Holmes. Now he has a reputation as John’s Fourth Continent.
*giggles* Funny, adorable and so true!
John continued to demonstrate that persistent lip-licking could develop an unusually agile tongue.
From now on every time I'll see John lick his lips I'll think, "He's practicing to perform fellatio". Thank you very much.
A Murder Mystery weekend coinciding with our holiday?
Ah, now I understand the "How he missed that clue—John will later reflect—he'd never know" thing! Clever.
"Whatever additional motivations I may have," he said gently, "I touch you because I can't bear not to."
Aaah, a touch of insecure!Sherlock/reassuring!John. Good!
John grinned. "This Sunday sounds perfect."
Speaking of which... *takes a sidelong glance at Anarion* I mean, it's not as if you were busy doing something else these days, like a 365 days challenge or something. :D
Congratulations to you all! And I hope you won't mind if I post this comment to your respective journals.:-)
Re: Sherlockians Assemble!
Date: 2012-05-25 09:02 am (UTC)John got up the next morning, went down
HA HA HA HA HA. Sorry. It was childish.
LOL!
Speaking of which... *takes a sidelong glance at Anarion* I mean, it's not as if you were busy doing something else these days, like a 365 days challenge or something. :D
Maybe next month. When is your birthday again? :)
Re: Sherlockians Assemble!
Date: 2012-05-25 10:08 am (UTC)*desperately tries to edit her birthday in her LJ profil*
Re: Sherlockians Assemble!
Date: 2012-05-25 11:52 am (UTC)And because you just made me snort really loud with your comment, I promise to update Sunday next month! *hugs*
Re: Sherlockians Assemble!
Date: 2012-05-25 01:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-05-24 01:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-05-25 09:03 am (UTC)This fandom has given me some of the most lovely people in my life, so giving back by writing porn is really, um, not an effort. :D
no subject
Date: 2012-05-25 11:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-05-25 11:51 am (UTC)BTW, are you still working on 'The Talk'? I loved the beginning and would really like to see where you go with it. :)
no subject
Date: 2012-05-25 12:07 pm (UTC)I was having a really hard time making sure I wrote consistently. So I started out by writing three 221Bs last weekend that I have posted throughout the week. This gave me time to start going through The Proposal again and write the final two chapters (plus an unexpected smut piece). Those are all going to be posted next week.
I'll be able to use next week to go through The Talk chapter one again and then write chapter two so I can post it a week from Monday. That's the plan anyway, trying to stay a week ahead!!
no subject
Date: 2012-05-25 04:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-05-24 08:10 am (UTC)Have a wonderful time at the upcoming event! It'll be a night to remember. There really is something about you and Sundays, isn't there?
no subject
Date: 2012-05-25 09:05 am (UTC)Hahaha! *ahem* Odly enogh, no.
It would be great if you were still in London as well. I could go with two of my most curly friends. ;)
no subject
Date: 2012-05-24 05:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-05-25 09:07 am (UTC)Glad you enjoyed our little fic though. :D
no subject
Date: 2012-07-12 01:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-07-14 08:26 am (UTC)