Fic: Functionality (A 221B for Verity)
Jan. 30th, 2012 12:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
anarionTitle: Functionality
Words: 221
Rating: PG
Pairings : Sherlock/John
Disclaimer: Not mine.
“You want me to do what?”
“Go undercover as a kitchen retailer. John, really, it’s not that hard to understand. It’s for the Burns case.”
“How am I supposed to sell someone a kitchen? I don’t know anything about that.”
“Well, what would you say are the selling points of our kitchen?”
John looks around, then starts to grin.
“What?”
“Ok, first there is our fridge. It’s quite nice to press you against it in order to kiss you senseless. And when you slump down a little bit, you are in the perfect position for me to rub myself against you.”
Sherlock looks at him with wide eyes and slightly breathless.
“I also think our chairs have the ideal shape to lean back and enjoy a blowjob. The backrest is strong enough so that you can even thrust back a little.”
It's impressive how fast these two men can turn each other on. Because they are, right now. Turned on, I mean.
“And then there is our counter. It has the perfect height for you to fuck me.”
Sherlock groans and suddenly there are hands pushing and John finds himself on said counter, a panting detective between his legs, grinding against him. John moans and grabs for his belt.
“Not that I object, but I think you got my list backwards.”
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AN: This one is for
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif){kind=small}
verityburns, because it's her birthday.Happy Birthday, sweetie!
I am so grateful to have such a wonderful friend like you! *hugs fiercely*
And how did this 221B happen you ask? Atlin and I were walking down a street in London and suddenly she said: ‘Oh, look, they sell German kitchens here. Maybe you could work there.’
I had to object that I could only point out the functionality of a kitchen in regards to places that one might use for all kinds of sexual encounters...
Her shriek of delight was so loud that she scared a poor business man on the phone (probably ruined the deal he was trying to make). And then she said that this had to go into a fic. Which it now has. There you go.
.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2012-01-30 11:22 am (UTC)All hail Anarion! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!
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Date: 2012-01-31 11:48 am (UTC)Thanks for the cheering, sweetie!
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Date: 2012-01-30 11:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-30 11:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-02-01 07:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-30 11:33 am (UTC)I did wonder about all the kitchen talk - now I see where you were going with it! I am extremely confident that your approach would make you saleswoman of the week in no time :D
Love this so hard. Absolutely wonderful - I'm almost looking forward to cooking dinner tonight, as I will regard my working environment from an entirely fresh perspective. And I'm often in that kitchen - this is a gift which will just keep on giving...
Thank you!
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Date: 2012-01-30 12:52 pm (UTC)A wonderful shared birthday present indeed :-D
I have to make sure Rosie reads this one... it's her birthday today too ;-)
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Date: 2012-01-30 01:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-30 06:51 pm (UTC)Thank you for sharing this present with us ;)
I wish you many plot-bunnies for loads of new stories!
And a cake *g*
Nicole
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Date: 2012-01-30 09:24 pm (UTC)And I am having a lovely day - largely thanks to my lovely LJ friends, who totally rock :D
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Date: 2012-02-01 07:55 pm (UTC)Also glad that I might have a second career prospect here. *lol*
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Date: 2012-01-30 11:37 am (UTC)The better to kiss you, my dear.
Kitchen, what big chairs you have.
The better to blow you, my dear.
Kitchen, what a tall counter you have.
The better to fuck you, my dear.
John, what a big
Well, you see where I was going with that.
Delightful fic, delightful friendships to observe.
And Verity, what a big heart you have. Happy birthday!
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Date: 2012-01-30 01:41 pm (UTC)You get the cake.
I snorted so loud I nearly woke my roommate up.
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Date: 2012-01-30 01:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-02-01 07:56 pm (UTC)No, not really. Could you maybe elaborate?
:D
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Date: 2012-01-30 12:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-02-01 07:58 pm (UTC)I hope that you won't ruin every meal from now on because you get distracted by the kitchen surfaces. ;)
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Date: 2012-01-30 01:39 pm (UTC)And here we thought Atlin had the porny-ist mind.
I think she needs to pass the gold-crown-adorned flaming prancy unicorn over to you, dear ma'am! *gigglesnort*
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Date: 2012-02-01 07:59 pm (UTC)I don't think I will ever be able to have a porny-er mind than Atlin. *snatches the gold-crown-adorned flaming prancy unicorn nevertheless*
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Date: 2012-01-30 01:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-02-01 08:00 pm (UTC)Also: <3
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Date: 2012-01-30 09:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-02-01 08:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-30 10:34 pm (UTC)Hot and funny, as usual ! Now, speaking of blowjobs...
*looks at the Blowjobs for Science series unobtrusively*
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Date: 2012-01-30 10:53 pm (UTC)You are insatiable. I just promised you two chapters in the Sunday series! Seriously, woman.
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Date: 2012-01-31 12:11 am (UTC)*tries to look polite*
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Date: 2012-01-31 10:56 am (UTC)*calms self and goes back to writing (you know, on thetwo chapters)*
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Date: 2012-01-31 02:40 am (UTC)*fans self diligently*
I had to use my fic-cushion to muffle all fic-related sounds...
P.S. Sorry! Almost forgot: Happy birthday, Verity! Lots of plot bunnies, chocolate and strawberries for your Muse, and Cumberkisses.
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Date: 2012-01-31 11:29 am (UTC)*thinks for a minute*
*comes back for remaining items and takes a very busy break...*
Thank you!
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Date: 2012-02-01 08:02 pm (UTC)