Fic: 221B - Things you never wanted to know

[anarion]

Title: Things you never wanted to know
Words: a 221B has 221 words and ends with a b-word
Rating: Pg-13
Pairings : Sherlock/John
Warnings: none
Disclaimer: Not mine.

Summary: ‘365 days of 221Bs’ challenge: a prompt a day, given by atlinmerrick. Day 319.




Previous 221b: Like ships in the night


Today's prompt: library

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Things you never wanted to know


“Male spiders of the nephilengys malabarensis species can detach their penis during sex. The genitalia actually keeps pumping even after the spider has been eaten by their female mate.”

“Oh God.”

Sherlock breathed sharply through his nose and gripped the edge of the table.

“The British artist Helen Chadwick peed into snow and made bronze casts out of that. It’s called ‘Piss Flowers’.”

“John, do something.”

“High heels were originally created for men. The Persians invented them in the Middle Ages for better footing in their stirrups.”

He was gritting his teeth now.

“What do you want me to do?”

John shifted and tried to catch his lover’s gaze, but he had his eyes firmly screwed shut.

“You can extract pineapple flavour from buckwheat.”

“Please.”

Sherlock looked like he was about to actually bite into the edge of the table, so John decided it was time to take pity on him. He turned around to the third man at the table.

“Greg, seriously, you need to shut up. Otherwise Sherlock is probably going to kill you. Creatively.”

“I have been stuck in the bloody library for four days now. Watching your suspect. What do you expect?”

Lestrade slammed his hand onto the table, rattling the stack of journals called ‘The Journal of useless Knowledge’.

“Why don’t you read something less banal?”




Next 221b: Seeing stars


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AN:
The prompt -courtesy of Verity Burns- was 'library'.

People keep asking me if all the things that I mention are true and if I research all this stuff. Yes. I do a lot of research for this and if not mentioned otherwise in my AN everything should be true (for example rubbing your feet with alcohol if you suffer from athlete's foot or the fact that an erection can stay after someone died). Or all the little details in this 221B.







.

Comments

[verityburns.livejournal.com]

Very impressive research! Although the first one may stay with me rather longer than I would ideally prefer...

Must be driving Sherlock mad to have all these useless facts thrown at him as fast as he can delete them - Lestrade is a brave man!

(Now how long do you think it will take for Atlin to come along and cheer at the 'High heels were originally created for men.' one?!)

[anarion.livejournal.com]

(Now how long do you think it will take for Atlin to come along and cheer at the 'High heels were originally created for men.' one?!)

Why do you think I added that one? ;D

[atlinmerrick.livejournal.com]

I did know they were originally a male thing, but I imagined it was a peacock display, a come hither for the lady or lad of their choice, I didn't know they were to help them stay on their bloody horse.

I'm going to still imagine they were invented for sex.

[chocolamousse.livejournal.com]

rubbing your feet with alcohol if you suffer from athlete's foot

VERITY: Dammit, I suffer from athlete's throat. Again. Where's my Shiraz?

Verity, forgive me, I couldn't resist. :D

[atlinmerrick.livejournal.com]

I must be expanding my mind or getting feeble because all I thought about that one was, "Well I thought everyone knew that" instead of "Woohoo, heels and men, men and heels, frabulous day whot whot?"

[chocolamousse.livejournal.com]

Thank you, Anarion, for these nuggets of knowledge. I only read your 221Bs because they are educational *coughs* and this one is particularly interesting. I first thought it was John trying (and succeeding) to turn on Sherlock by reading an encyclopaedia with a sexy voice and I was expecting porn but it's only because I have a dirty mind.

Also, I must be a bit weird because the first thing I thought when I read "The genitalia actually keeps pumping" is, "Hmm, it should be 'keep pumping', 'genitalia' is plural". Please send medical assistance. :D

[rox712.livejournal.com]

I had to google that spider just to see how it looks like. Scary stuff!

[atlinmerrick.livejournal.com]

Good lord for awhile I couldn't tell if Sherlock was about to get off or have an aneurysm. That's what your 221Bs are like: Is someone going to have a nervous breakdown or come?

ALWAYS A SURPRISE AT 'AN ALMOST GRAVITATIONAL PULL'!

[phoenix-glow.livejournal.com]

Brainy is the new sexy. SNORT. That was wonderful. Platonic kisses.